Personality Communications

One thing we never, ever seem to have enough of these days, is time. Whether you are working, looking after children or are a student, time seems to run out before the end of the day…

We are all busier than we have ever been. Multi-tasking is probably the way to describe it. We all have so many projects on the go, so many things we want to do, but at the end of the day….. we only have so many hours actually in it!

There is a magic word that can start to solve all of your time management woes and that is priority. Once you look at your day and place your tasks into an order of priority, it removes the stress! Put the things you need to complete at the top of the list, followed by things that should be done…. really. Then the rest goes down the bottom for if you get the time… sometimes you actually do get a little spare time!

At least you can sleep at night though knowing that the most important things got done. Also unless it is something rather meaningless, if you keep putting something off in your life, is it really that important to you? Why try to pretend that it is, if it isn’t?

Stop ’shoulding’ on yourself! Stop saying “I should do this” or “I should do that” and make a decision as to whether you truly WANT to do it! The chances are, you may not want to do it but feel obliged somehow. If it is not keeping you employed, married, making you happy or making you money, maybe you could reconsider it’s importance in your life?

We only have one life. I don’t want to rush through mine, never having smelled a rose or stopped to take a breath! Time management is more important now than ever, if only to help us to realize that some things really do matter, but some others really do not!

Take a few minutes today to re-organize your time, you will probably be surprised just how much time you really do have once you clear the decks!

If you're new here, you may want to subscribe to my RSS feed. Thanks for visiting!

So Easter has been and gone again for another year… but it has left it’s mark… again!

It does not matter how good I plan to be, somehow or other the Easter bunny comes along and tempts me and whamo, I go up 3 pounds!

It also did not help that my daughter decided to do all the cooking on Sunday, including giving us rather scrumptious cocktails of champagne and mango nectar! I can thoroughly recommend them but, as usual, when I drink alcohol, it stimulates my appetite and I eat way more than I really need to!

Add to this the fact that my daughter excelled herself with these wonderful tartlets as an entree and followed this with some beautiful marinated chicken, two lovely salads and some polenta something or other… I forget all the wonderful names but man, it was sooooo nice!

Then of course home made hot cross buns and even more chocolate! Sigh!

It doesn’t help that we shared a family box of Cadbury Favorites on Friday night or that we managed to consume a large block of chocolate and variety bag of eggs on Saturday night either!

Sigh! Why does putting on weight, taste so good? :-/

We are currently looking at different ways that we can incorporate more information technology or blended learning into the curriculum at the university where I lecture.

I actually think it is a wonderful idea. Everybody is so busy these days, that to have an online discussion forum or other online readings, the ability to renew your library books online, etc. is a marvelous way to be able to manage time, whilst at the same time, add diversity and depth to a course.

Blended learning is of particular relevance to those individuals who choose to study via distance education. I have been one of those students. I remember when I came back to study at masters level, I had to suddenly get up to date with pod casts instead of lectures and digital readings to download and print… and there I was patiently waiting for my ‘reading brick’ to arrive!

The diversity that a discussion forum gives to a course is priceless. We only have 3 hours a fortnight contact time in one of the courses I am doing, but we will shortly open some relevant threads in a discussion forum, which is set up for our course and I cannot wait!

I have always found the discussion forums I use to be rich with interesting points of view. It is rather like face to face communication, but without much of the non-verbal information. This can sometimes lead to a slight misunderstanding here and there, but in the main, the benefits far outweigh the odd challenge!

So I am in favor of blended learning. It brings a class together at a time that is convenient for each individual and adds a complexity to the understanding of course materials.

Last Christmas, my husband and I decided to save some money and instead of buying each other presents, we kept the money for the after Christmas sales. I even said to him “should we buy each other a card?” When we do, we normally buy a very nice, upmarket type of card, so we figured we would not do so this year and save money there too.

I cannot tell you exactly what it felt like on Christmas Day, not having a card or a present from my husband, except that it felt somehow hollow. I kept listening to my head telling me that we were saving so much money and that we would do very well in the upcoming sales, but my heart kept telling me that it felt sad that we had missed out on an opportunity to tell each other how much we care.

I had not realized until afterwards, just how much a card really does mean. It is like a paper hug or a non-verbal greeting, that tells you, often in somebody’s own words too, how they feel about you. Let’s face it, how many relationships could probably do with a few more demonstrations of affection on a daily basis? You can never get sick of hearing loving words from your partner…

It made me think that life is, indeed, very short and very precious. The things that mean the most to you, are often the little things in life and these can sometimes get neglected. The trouble begins when you do neglect them because they start to perish and you have nobody to blame except yourself.

So when Valentine’s Day came around, we made a special point of buying each other a card and you know what? I treasured that thing… because I hadn’t had a card for a while and I appreciated it even more so!

So the moral of my little tale is this. Try not to think of occasions, when you would send a card, as unnecessary or that it is just a money making venture on behalf of the card companies, as that is your head talking to you and not your heart. You can get many lovely cards these days that don’t cost a fortune, but it is the few minutes you take to select one, write in it and give it to somebody you love that is the priceless act… and one that would be sorely missed if it didn’t happen.

It is never worth saving money or being sensible at the expense of missing an opportunity to say “I Love You”.

The trouble with living in the same house at two budding Gordon Ramsay’s, is that if you are not outstanding in the culinary area, it is easy to start to feel rather inferior in comparison…

The other day I made us all a vegetarian spaghetti bolognaise, usually a well accepted dish; that was until my husband started to make it instead, using my recipe. Suddenly my version is ‘bland’ and had to be ‘tweaked’ to come up to the minimum standard for consumption! I admit, his version tastes way, way better… but still!

As if that is not bad enough, my 15 year old daughter, inspired by the Master Chef of the house, is now taking some certificate courses in professional catering at school, turning into her own version of Nigella Lawson and I am rapidly becoming obsolete in the kitchen!

Now there is a good and a bad side to this. The bad side, as I have already mentioned, is that I have started to get left behind in the culinary area. The tastings that happen, the comparing of this spice adding this flavor and that ‘tweak’ saving the taste of that gravy, has left me feeling rather like ‘Woody’ from A Toy Story. 

I learned to cook from my mum and from cookery books and from the old fashioned ‘home economics’ at school, where some ‘matron like’ woman would stand over you and make sure you did everything according to the book!

These days, Jamie Oliver has given us all permission to tear basil instead of chopping it and food preparation has become so much more laissez-faire! So while ‘Buzz Lightyear’ and apprentice, waft their way around the kitchen, along with the delicious aromas, I find myself feeding the cats, folding the washing and sitting on the internet with a glass of wine…

The good part, however, is that it is rather wonderful to be married to somebody who is such a great chef (if he had wanted to be) and who has inspired our daughter to love all aspects of food preparation, tastes, etc. I do not have to cook anywhere near as much, as I find it a chore and they actually enjoy it!

So when my dish had to be ‘tweaked’ to become edible the other day, I thought I would remember how they labeled my spaghetti ‘bland’ the next time I am enjoying my glass of wine and doing something that I enjoy too!

I had my class today at university for the Graduate Certificate of Higher Education and we touched on learning styles.

It is interesting how university education is now starting to embrace this concept. Years ago when I first learned about visual, auditory and kinesthetic learning styles, along with others, it was still considered a little ‘out there’. Now it is just starting to be incorporated into the curriculum.

There was a short discussion about how one could possible cover all learning styles with delivery in the average class situation and somebody even suggested that we make everybody learn a certain way! Isn’t that what is already happening in some respects?

I am left handed. I was very fortunate, as I went to a charming primary school that allowed me to write with my left hand, which is what comes naturally to me. However shortly before my time in first grade, some schools made left handed people write with their right hand, which to me seems rather barbaric! I have even heard of some people having their left hand tied behind their back! How can this be in any way effective to their learning?

Children and adults will take what they learn, in their own, way from the education system. It is up to us, as educators, to make it as appealing to as many learning styles as possible. Of course we cannot provide the perfect environment for all types of learners, all of the time, but we can, at least try to embrace all learning styles.

It is most important not to make anybody wrong because they favor a particular learning style. I hate to think what sort of anxiety or frustration having my left hand tied behind my back might have caused me!

I think it is important that we teach people in a way that is meaningful to them, whatever that is. The key here is flexibility. There will always be a variety of learning styles in any classroom situation; our challenge today is simply not to alienate any of them.

An interesting thing happened this morning with regards to perception. My daughter is always late for school. In fact she has always been late for everything her entire life and she is still just 15. My husband started to get irritated with her apparent lack of concern.

I suppose from my model of the world these days I can see things a different way. Call it perception perhaps, but when I studied NLP, (neuro linguistic programming) I was fascinated by the concept that we are all masters of our own destiny.

She is the most important person in her world, according to her own model of that world, as are the rest of us. It is just that we don’t acknowledge this in others and then expect the rest of the world to dance to our personal tune. We may have rules that we personally live by, but that does not mean that those rules will work for somebody else. In fact, those same rules could violate another’s values or beliefs, rendering them useless in application.

So, when we try to inflict our own rules onto another, we are in fact, expecting them to live by our own rules and not their own. How crazy is that? Some would call it control. I call it an utter waste of time, because unless you can get somebody to see value, or a reason for using your rules instead of their own, they are not going to see the point in adopting those rules. You may, via punishment, control another and have them live by your rules, but as soon as you are effectively ‘out of the way’, the original behavior returns.

So my perception is this. Upon talking to my daughter, she sees no need for her to be at school on time. She has her reasons and justifications and to be honest, from her side of the fence, it is hard to dispute. So who is right? We are all from different parents, backgrounds, educations, social conditioning, environments, so who is to say that what is right for us, is right for them?

I used to love the saying “Live and Let Live” when I was younger. Isn’t what I have just written about, the same thing? We can guide, cajole, bribe even, but at the end of the day, we are all the most important person in our own world, perceiving others who think they are the most important person too!

My point? Just notice what others do today. Watch how they are all ‘experts’ in their own model of the world according to age, experience, level of wisdom, etc. Instead of making the other person ‘wrong’ for doing what they do… look instead for motivation. Why would they do that, what is the reason behind that behaviour? If you can value them, in spite of not agreeing with the behavior, that is the highest level of unconditional acceptance you can offer another human being.

I really think, that if you look hard enough, using your own perceptive skills, you will find somebody just striving to be the best they can be, with what they already know and underneath all of that….. just wanting to be wanted.